Remodel

The remodel on our bathrooms has begun. Yesterday, our contractor gutted the kids' bathroom upstairs. I watched as a cabinet came down the stairs...another cabinet, a bathtub, a sink....I'm not attached to any of these things.  My hoarder tendencies did not begin to peek out...but what did dawn on me was the work being done on these rooms.  They were still pretty much functional. There was water damage on the floor in this particular bathroom, so that was the impetus for the remodel. As it has been 15 years, it was time to update the look, the function...make it appealing to those that may want to buy it in the future.  (No, we aren't moving, but so many of the decisions are made for 'resale value') These are vital rooms in our home. Nobody wants to be without a shower, a toilet, a sink.  So, even though everything still worked, an update, a remodel, a re-creation has begun.

So what was I thinking as I watched the guts of that room come down the stairs?  Tearing down and moving out piece after piece of a vital room...Well, I thought about what kind of remodeling I need to do in my vital 'rooms'. It sounds like so much darn work...and I can't hire a contractor to do it for me. And shoot, everything seems to be pretty functional, so why change it? Unlike the bathroom, I'm pretty attached to the furniture in my 'rooms'.  It's comfortable, even if there is a spring sticking out and poking me, causing me pain from time to time.

My brain...a room with so much potential. I think I need some exercise equipment in that room.  It's pretty much become my couch potato existence. I just want to be entertained in there. Somehow, I need to make sure there is more of a balance...a little entertainment, a little exercise, a little rest.  Balance. Harmony. Perhaps need some feng shui in there. Reading, writing, I need to find more time for that. Studying up on my favorite game of poker. Improving, striving, doing.  I need that. Dang it brain...that's gonna be a pretty substantial remodel.

My heart...Oh my heart...Sometimes I feel like it's two sizes too big for the space.  No, that can't be...we will just need to knock out the walls and make more room.  I only want my heart to grow...and to never stop growing. No walls...just a big open space...where anyone can pull up a chair and feel welcome.  Yeah, I know that can be risky...but I can't think of any other way that seems comfortable to me.  I love...I just do. So what work can I do there?  I think I let other people convince me that the decorations are all wrong in there. My heart is my heart...I kinda want to be able to put whatever decorations I want in there. Do I need balance and harmony in there too?  Sure...but not if it means containing any of the love I feel and give.  Bigger, stronger, healthier love...that's the update for that room.

My soul.  I don't often open the door to that room.  It's hard for me to look at the chaos...Being a hoarder may play out in this room a bit.  Dreams of being a singer, a dancer, a mother, a wife, an author...And dreams I haven't even let myself discover...They are stored there. It's kinda like they are floating around ..some I don't ever really see anymore...maybe they are stuck in the dark corner because it was determined my voice was not pretty and I'm not that great at dancing.  I never get rid of the dreams though..I hoard them, because maybe some day...Ugh..this room needs some light. It's so dark...Every once in a while a flash goes off when I've had a great day being a mom...when I get some encouragement on my blog...but I haven't figured out how to make the light stay on.  It seems like there is going to need to be some major electrical work that needs to be done. And I am actually scared to see what I might find when my hopes and dreams are illuminated. Oh my soul, I hope to stop fearing what you are going to show me...where you will lead me.

Remodeling parts of our house brings about thoughts of remodeling parts of me...Welcome again to the world of Kari's heart, mind and soul! :)

Never make your home in a place. Make a home for yourself in your own head.  You'll find what you need to furnish it-memory, friends you can trust, love of learning, and other such things. That way it will go with you wherever you journey. -Tad Williams