Milestone

I reached a weight loss milestone today. Sssshhhh...keeping it a little on the down low...Everyone has their opinions about how you should lose weight and how not to. Keeping track of pounds lost is acceptable to some, and sad to others. I have been noticing that my pants are falling down, so I know my body is changing. But I do really like to have the actual hard numbers to help me see my progress in a very clear way. Today marks 25 pounds lost since January 1.  Woohoo!!!  I would not suggest the type of weight loss I experienced this week, with being sick and all, but I am looking forward to keeping on track now.

For those new to my weight loss journey, after being a very thin young girl and teenager, I have struggled with weight issues since I went off to college. I like to blame it on being pregnant at 19 and having five children. Truth is, the first year I went off to CU, I gained a nice amount of weight and a belly bump. Since then, up and down I've gone and have never really been happy with my body. A huge change from the confident high schooler with no real body issues.

For the past four years or so, I had not been able to find the right motivation or love for myself to get back on track losing weight and feeling better. This is what I think happened in January..I finally accepted myself for where I was right then...and that acceptance developed in to a motivator to be even better.

I am ashamed that for a while now I have been negatively processing other people's weight loss journeys, or their suggestions to me. I knew what I had to do...I knew what worked for me and what didn't.  I tried so many damn things...I didn't want one more thing thrown at me...even if done with love. I quietly began my journey again, with some shame because damn it, why haven't I gotten this by now?! Even as I sit here thinking about how I'm losing these same pounds again, I am saying to myself over and over again, "I hope that this time, I finally make the changes for good." 

I do hope I have made these changes for good. You know why?  Because I have felt like my outside doesn't reflect who I am inside at all. Inside, I felt like I was still this self confident teenager who just needed to be let out in to a beautiful thin body and the rest of life would just fall in to place. Taking a good hard look at my inside, the overweight, out of shape body may actually be reflecting what I was letting happen on the inside. I can no longer think so negatively about myself. 

"When the inner you and the outer you join hands, you become the only you. And when that happens, things begin to unfold more easily and the trip becomes more exciting and fun too." Begin with Yes

Looking to become the only me.

25 POUNDS!!!  Hell to the yeah!!!